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the boredom of the guard 23 February 2007

Posted by DSM in academia.
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Had to invigilate a graph theory exam this morning.

(As an aside, they say “sitting exams” here. In Canada, if you use “sitting an exam”, everyone will know what you mean, but it can sound.. not quite pretentious, exactly, but a little unusual. One thing which takes a little getting used to is that many English expressions sound like a marker of high social class to the Canadian ear, but here they’re used by everyone.)

Fortunately my officemate got an email reminding him of his exam duties earlier this week or I’d have missed it. I asked last week if I had any responsibilities, and was told that if I hadn’t already been informed then I was probably safe. Well, it turns out I had been assigned a section — but the information came in an attachment to an easily-ignored message over a month ago! My memory doesn’t work on those timescales. Maybe it’s time to start using the e-calendar software..

Watching over students who are writing exams is pretty boring, but you usually find a couple of students trying to get away with things. One kept looking at the exam beside him to the left and then writing; after he noticed that I was watching, he didn’t write much for the next twenty minutes except doodles. I couldn’t believe how unsubtle he was. Then the student on the left of the guy that the would-be cheater was trying to copy from did the same thing, made an unhappy face, and scratched out his own work — he must have decided that the central guy was likelier to be right. (It was a list of graph nodes or edges or something.)

Originally I’d thought that the guy in the middle was innocent, and merely couldn’t be bothered to hide his work — after all, he shouldn’t have to worry about stuff like that — but from the conversation between the three of them afterwards I suspect they knew each other.

The first cheater didn’t spend much time writing, so I’m pretty sure he failed. But I set the three exams aside to be marked in tandem, just in case, and made it obvious to them that I’d set them apart. I thought of nodding to them and saying something like “Gentlemen” when I collected the exams, but I don’t know if it would have been appreciated..

One student arrived with about ten minutes to go in the exam and explained that her alarm hadn’t gone off.  Thankfully I could push that decision up the ladder. I hate dealing with squishy discretionary stuff like that.

Finally, towards the end of the exam, one student decided that since he was done he could start messaging people. And then to try a “you’re-being-unreasonable” face when I tell you to stop? Attempts at petulantly taking offence aren’t going to work with me. I’ve been teaching since you were ten, kid.

Babysitting.

Bah.

with apologies to Dylan 13 January 2007

Posted by DSM in academia, daily life.
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The line it is drawn, the curse it is cast
The slow one now will later be fast
As the present now will later be past
The order is rapidly fadin’
And the first one now will later be last
For the times they are a-changin’

Two odd things have happened in the last twenty-four hours.

The first is that I found out that I may be changing offices. The department here is growing rapidly — they’re hiring four new lecturers — and they need someplace to put them. Apparently the room they’re thinking of putting us in is on the fourth floor on the south-facing side of the building, closer to the Cassini team.. so I’ll lose my nice view of the cemetery field, in exchange for a view of Canary Wharf.

Meh.

The second is that the incessant 24-7 beeping of the security system on the ground floor, which started the week I arrived and had been going nonstop since, was absent today. Someone finally got around to fixing it only three months after it started! I found it frustrating enough myself, but sometimes security guards had to sit there and listen to it beep continually behind them.. every few weeks I would ask in the office if anything was being done, and it was always just about to be addressed.

I didn’t even notice it had been fixed when I first dropped by the department, because my brain automatically supplied the sounds. Probably take until February before I stop hearing it.

These two events are trying to tell me something. No idea what, although currently “you spend way too much time considering matters of no significance” is in the lead.

UPDATE: The beep is back! All is right with the world.

buy Phantom by phone 27 November 2006

Posted by DSM in academia, politics.
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How I miss the Queen’s graduate society, the SGPS, and that’s not entirely sarcastic. They have a certain entertainment value.

For example, whenever I see that they’ve sent a message out, the question isn’t whether or not it’s going to be inappropriately drenched in lefty politics, it’s to what degree.

Today’s example comes from a while back:

M.C. Third Word (AKA Mohammad Ali Aumeer) is having CD launch party for his debut album, “Such A Long Journey”, a benefit for the War Resisters Support Campaign.

He is a socialist emcee and grassroots activist who works, studies, and makes music in Toronto. Being involved with the War Resisters Support Campaign for over six months, the M.C. decided to release this album not only to raise funds for the campaign but to also spread awareness of the soldiers fighting for refugee status in Canada to the young fans of hip hop music in this country with a focus on university campuses.

All profits from this album and performances in support of the album go directly to supporting the legal and/or material needs of U.S. War Resisters in Canada.

This will be a night of great music and words in support of the US war resisters.

For more information, please check out www.resisters.ca or www.mcmohammadali.com.

Not only does the SGPS take political stands on issues that aren’t within its competence — and mysteriously always lands on the left side of any issue — but now they’re actively encouraging its members to support desertion from a volunteer military.

There’s an old, wry explanation for why the Left has more marches and protests and the like than the Right: “Conservatives have jobs.” And more generally, families, and bowling leagues, and so on.

Part of this is just snark, which I approve of, but there’s a serious difference between the Left and the Right lurking here, a difference of social ontology.

The Left’s is much flatter, and simpler, and easier to explain. It doesn’t have much of a place for subsidiarity or federalism. Hence the spectacle of graduate student union organizations taking stands on international politics, because they recognize no limit on their jurisdiction. It’s an important issue; the members elected an Executive; the Executive has views; why shouldn’t the Executive get involved? Why shouldn’t the SGPS take social stands on behalf of some of its members? By comparison, the Right’s view of the social world is rich and messy and self-contradictory, a complex web of overlapping and incompatible powers and duties, some voluntary, some not, with countless mediating institutions with their own domains and limits; but this confusing kaleidoscope of social structure leaves space for the human, in a way that I don’t think the Left’s does.

I’m reminded of the Derb’s description of the medieval crusading Europeans:

That is what they were like, these men of Western Europe. Brutish, coarse, ignorant, often insanely cruel — yes: but peer into their inner lives, their thoughts, their talk among themselves, so far as it is possible to do so, and what do we find? What were their notions, their obsessions? Faith, of course, and honor, and then: vassalage, homage, fealty, allegiance, duties and obligations, genealogies and inheritances, councils and “parlements,” rights and liberties. The feudal order is easy to underestimate. In part this is because feudal society was so at odds with many modern ideals — the ideal of human equality, for example. In part, also, I believe, because the sheer complexity of it, and of its laws and customs, deters study and sometimes confounds analysis. (Define and differentiate the following: champerty, maintenance, embracery.) A certain dogged application is required to get to grips with feudal society, and few who are not professional historians are up to the task, Karl Marx being one honorable exception. Yet it is in this knotty tangle of heartfelt abstractions spelled out in Old French that can be found, in embryo, so much of what we cherish in our own civilization today.

Having spent so much time following the machinations of the intersection of the academic and political worlds, I’m ever more convinced that WFB had the right of it:

I would rather be governed by the first two thousand names in the Boston phone book than by the two thousand members of the faculty of Harvard University.

high table with mystery guests 6 November 2006

Posted by DSM in academia, astronomy.
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The dep’t here has a couple of faculty positions open, and today’s the day when the planetary candidates are visiting.

The arrangement is kind of disappointing — four top-notch planetary guys (well, at least three; I don’t know the last one) are in town, but they’re not giving any seminars to the group as a whole. They’re only giving ten-to-fifteen minute talks to the hiring committee, which obviously I’m not on. With so many people passing through this week, I don’t expect Richard’s going to have a lot of free time, which is fine by me as I’m behind writing a number of things up.

For some reason I can’t find any mention of the QM planetary shortlist on the Astronomy Rumour Mill. As an experiment, when I was starting to hear back from the various places I’d applied to, I chose not to tell them which places I’d been shortlisted at, to see if my name would show up anyhow.. it never did. In the end I decided that the majority of the rumours are being self-submitted.

Even though it’s not really a secret any more, I’ll keep the various names to myself. If all goes well, we’ll be heading out for dinner tonight.

In other news, Martin’s old student (my immediate predecessor) and current CITA fellow Ed Thommes happens to be in town, and as mentioned on his webpage he’s visiting Queen Mary.

Hopefully I’ll get a chance to see him. He offered a lot of help throughout my PhD work, and I learned a lot from him.

I think the only thing he picked up from me was a name to use back when we played Quake on the dep’t computers. I went by “The Monk”, for reasons we needn’t dwell on, so he started using “The Ed”..

(Best name? One of the astrogrrls used “Yellow Hare”, which is the name of a female Cherokee Spartan warrior — how cool is that? — in a hard-sf alt-sci alt-history novel Celestial Matters that I’d lent her. It’s one of my favourites, and helps explain why this blog has the name it does.)

gratitude 101 4 November 2006

Posted by DSM in academia, politics.
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My earlier story about visiting the National Gallery has an epilogue, but I wasn’t in a mood to rant at the time.

When I finally left the building and crossed Trafalgar Square, there was a large crowd. Larger than normal, I mean.

They’d assembled as part of an enormous protest against the idea that anyone should be charged tuition to pursue postsecondary education. They carried signs saying ‘Grants for All’ and ‘Free Education’ and so on. (The Protest Babe factor didn’t seem to be in their favour, for what it’s worth.)

By “free education” the protestors don’t mean that university staff like me should be willing to teach and research as volunteers, living off the occasional apple that our students bring and the charity of local soup kitchens. They mean “publically funded”, but prefer to let the distinction become blurry, and emphasize only that they shouldn’t be the part of the public that’s funding it. I’m familiar with the same confusion from back home, where people talk about “free health care”.

This particular student whine has always irritated me, even back when I was a poor undergrad getting by on scholarships, tutoring, and the generosity of my parents. Let me set out my official stance as clearly as I can:

Publically-funded postsecondary education is not a right.

A citizen has no right to demand that the public fund him to study, any more than he has a right to get a cheque cut out to him if he’s not interested in going to college.  That decision rests with the public themselves, who may agree with his choice, or may not.

Sure, the government may have an interest in ensuring that students study certain subjects. Biology, chemistry, physics, engineering: these come to mind as useful investments both immediately and long-term. Sociology, the history of medieval weaving, and, yes, astronomy, have less obvious benefit. Nevertheless, you don’t always know where the best students and the best ideas — the ones that are going to produce the most good for society in the future — are going to come from. So one approach is to cast a wide net, and pay for lots of people to study lots of things, including both marginal students and the ’softer’ subjects whose benefits are harder to quantify but no less real.

That’s only one way, though. You could just as easily have a highly-streamed system concentrating on certain core disciplines, with excruciating exams all along the way and scholarships for those who do well, and steer people towards studying particular sciences (nanotech this year, gene therapy the next). I’m not sure that’d work any worse than the “teach-them-all-and-let-God-sort-them-out” method we’re using now. You can dream up countless schemes, ranging from the clever to the crazy, but none of them are mandated by any alleged right to education on the part of the recipients of public largesse.

It’s not really clear to me how far the social benefits of university education extend. Fewer people in university and more people in college could be a better arrangement, and if a high school diploma actually guaranteed that the graduate could read, write, and handle basic mathematics, then it’s likely not as many people would need to go to college in the first place. The degrees are often used more as tests of what it takes to survive the program, i.e. some basic level of performance that having a diploma no longer shows, than they are as proof of a particular knowledge base.

For my own part, I’m astonished and grateful that the Canadian public (through its elected representatives and the bodies they appoint and superintend) and now the British public are willing to spend their hard-earned dollars funding my research. I’ve done what I can to show my gratitude by producing work of adequate quality. Honestly, I’ve never, not once, thought to myself: “you know, the public owed me this: it was my right to have my studies, in a subject whose only practical benefit is keeping me employed, paid for”. And if they’d ever said, “Well, we’re actually more interested in funding medical research now,” I’d have thanked them and gone on to do something else. Anyone who’s capable of doing university-level research is also capable of earning an honest living. (Paul Erdös and similar savants excepted.)

I wonder how many people who would otherwise be sympathetic to student concerns about loan repayment policies were turned off by the self-important presumption of those at the march. When the speaker started going on about the impact on tuition of the War in Afghanistan, he lost me, and I was barely there to start with.

I can only pray that I never feel such an unjustified sense of entitlement, and that I stay thankful to my countless patrons.

the penitent man shall pass 3 November 2006

Posted by DSM in academia, astronomy.
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Following up on my earlier post about playing referee, everything worked out perfectly.

I was right that their described method had a serious problem; they explained that the description was a holdover from an earlier effort where they’d tried the trick I called major shenanigans on, but then they realized it wasn’t going to work; and what they actually did is well within the norm.

They also agreed to my request to put in a paragraph discussing work which suggests quite strongly that their result, though correct as far as it goes, may not actually apply to any real situations. I thought that was admirably sporting!

I may have made some trouble for myself, though.. my turnaround time was pretty short, which editors like, but which I can’t do regularly. Mind you, if they send me only the most exciting must-get-to-press-tomorrow results, that wouldn’t be so bad..

tenure review 27 October 2006

Posted by DSM in academia.
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I foresee similar difficulties in my future, albeit for somewhat different reasons not easily explained.

So a certain professor has my complete sympathy.

keeper of the gates 22 October 2006

Posted by DSM in academia, astronomy.
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Refereeing papers is part of being a contributing member of the scientific community. Sometimes, or mostly, it’s pretty thankless. The journals charge you not only to buy their product (with subscriptions) but to build it for them (many have substantial page fees), and also ask you to volunteer your services as a reviewer “for the good of the field”. You have to admire the self-assurance of one who can ask all that with a straight face and make you feel guilty if you don’t go along.

It’s also an open question as to how useful it is; how big a hit would astronomy take if everyone just read the unrefereed papers on astro-ph? At most journal clubs, that’s what you’re doing anyhow. My last paper certainly benefited from the referee’s comments — although more from the constructive criticism/creative destruction of my coauthor Hal, and the AJ copyeditors’ pens — but the end result wasn’t that different.

I was asked to review my first paper a few years ago. I worked pretty hard on my report, but I thought I had to, given that I was recommending against the paper’s publication. Felt awfully strange being a lowly grad student deciding that the work of tenured faculty wasn’t quite right for the journal, let me tell you! Fortunately the editor agreed with me, and decided not to take me up on my offer to redirect the whole thing to /dev/null. So in that case, my refereeing did have an impact.. namely, it killed the paper.

Even so, my review was cursory in many ways. Since that time, I’ve come to think that the process should be more rigorous, mostly because of the yeoman’s work done by Steve McIntyre, attempting with limited success to reproduce various famous results in climate science. Astrophysics is much less politicized, and I’ve always found everyone to be very generous in sharing technical details — even code, if necessary, unlike his experience with the Hockey Team — but I think his comments on due diligence still bear consideration.

I was recently asked to referee another paper, one in which I think I’ve found a serious problem. Hopefully I’m mistaken; I could be misunderstanding the authors, or it could be a rare exception to an otherwise reliable rule that I simply haven’t come across before. Heaven knows there have to be enough of those, given how many facts everyone else seems to think are obvious which I find very confusing.

Well, this time I’ll take my refereeing duties more seriously, now that I’m a doctor and all.. and run a quick low-res sim to test the part of their method which worries me.

We’ll see what happens..

of all sad words 20 October 2006

Posted by DSM in academia.
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Marriage is good for those in academe, even at the postgraduate level, at least according to a new study.

H/t John J. Miller.

mmmm.. Hungarian academic spam.. 10 October 2006

Posted by DSM in academia, astronomy.
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It’s amazing how spam can grow in even the smallest of niches; maybe I shouldn’t be such an exobiology sceptic.

Today’s example urges me to subscribe (either individually or institutionally) to that exciting journal, Acta Geodaetica et Geophysica Hungarica.

You know, the one the kids are always going on about.

The pitch goes like this:

Dear professors McNeil, D, Duncan, M, Levison, HF

We are pleased to see that your remarkable article

Effects of type I migration on terrestrial planet formation�

has the same key topics as an article in our journal Acta Geodaetica et Geophysica Hungarica in the following paper:

Evolution of angular momenta and energy of the Earth-Moon system

Being an author in the same field of interest of Acta Geodaetica et Geophysica Hungarica we offer you a 30-day trial period for this journal including full-text of current and back issues.

[various links and praise for AGGH deleted]

While I appreciate both the kind words about our paper (see the cover image on the left) and the honourary promotion to professor, somehow I’m not sure I can make the case; AGGH is an Earth sciences journal of no mean obscurity back home, and not one I’ve ever needed.

The paper they direct me to (which I can’t read in the original without accepting their offer) sounds interesting: it’s written by A.I. Arbab at the Department of Physics at Teachers’ College in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. In the abstract it modestly claims that “We have developed a model for the evolution of the Earth-Moon angular momenta, energy dissipation and tidal torque valid for the entire history of the Earth-Moon system.”

This gives rise to several questions:

  • Riyadh has a teachers’ college named “Teachers’ College”? I suppose that’s no worse than the various places all calling themselves the “Institute for Astronomy” or whatever. I think CITA had the right idea, getting Canada mentioned right up front.
  • The Teachers’ College has a physics department? Maybe the name is traditional and so no one wanted to change it when it expanded its domain, or maybe Arbab is doing what I used to do when I called my office at Queen’s the Planetary Dynamics Division.. (“We create worlds.”) Mind you, from what I’ve heard, it’s not easy being a researcher in the Middle East, so I can admire someone who’s finding ways to keep doing work. (Israel excepted from many of these challenges, of course, though they have a different set of problems, and it usually takes the form of badly-aimed but still dangerous rockets and/or enemies blowing themselves up and taking the innocent with them.)
  • Valid for the entire history of the Earth-Moon system? Points for boldness, if nothing else. Still, this could be true in some restricted sense; lots of people write loud abstracts to get attention and then make smaller and more plausible claims in the paper itself.
  • Whatever happened to the Oxford comma? It’s traditional, easy to use, and so darn cute.

Some googling suggests that Arbab has lived an interesting life, even if some of his proposals strike me as a little.. unlikely.

Budapest to Kingston to London, with connections at Riyadh, Khartoum, and Trieste: just another day in the world of academic journal spam.