the fourth date 9 November 2006
Posted by DSM in politics, relationships.comments closed
Today Tim Blair noted an article by Peter Berger on various -isms. The article doesn’t really say much that those of us outside the postmodern world don’t consider immediately obvious, and Berger’s conclusions are uncharacteristically bland and centrist, but one of his stories was so familiar to me that I can’t help repeating it here [carriage returns inserted --ed]:
Fundamentalists of whatever stripe must suppress doubt (in psychologists’ parlance, they must avoid cognitive dissonance). I will allow myself a personal anecdote here. Shortly after I came to America as a very young man I had a few dates with an attractive and intelligent young woman. I soon discovered that she was an ardent member of the American Communist Party, which somewhat dampened our relationship.
Of course we argued about this. She was unwilling to accept any negative information about the Soviet Union. When I spoke about atrocities in Soviet-occupied Eastern Europe, she asked me whether I had personally witnessed these atrocities.
When I said no, she said, “Well, I really would like to meet someone who has.”
I quickly said, “This could be arranged.”
Well, arrange it I did, and it was a revealing event. I was friendly with a young couple recently arrived from Latvia. They invited me and my Communist not-quite-girlfriend to supper. After some awkward chitchat, I asked them to talk about the Soviet occupation of Latvia. They told one horror story after another.
My date sat quietly at first, then became increasingly agitated. After almost an hour she put her hands to her ears and said, “I don’t want to hear any more of this.”
As we walked away from my friends’ apartment, I asked her if she thought that they were lying.
No, she replied, these people did not impress her as liars. But then she added: “You know, I think that there is something, if we could only find it, that would completely change what they were saying.”
Evidently she had found a magical pill against cognitive dissonance. The Party was well-equipped to provide such medicine.
She never agreed to see me again.
Sometimes you have to represent the truth, regardless of the consequences..
ph34r my unl33t #@2+ 20 October 2006
Posted by DSM in daily life, relationships.comments closed
“So, Hayasaka-san used to be engaged?” he asked, surprised.
“Uh huh,” Kimiko said, filing a book away. “Erika and Hitoshi had been dating since high school.”
“They seemed like such a mismatched pair. Erika was beautiful, popular, and outgoing. Hitoshi was boring, plain, quiet, and shy. No one could understand why a girl like Erika would go out with someone like him.” She thought back to watching the two of them eat together, and the odd image they presented.
“Unfortunately, I don’t think he understood either. When her career was at its height, he decided that he was holding her back. He said that she deserved someone better than him and broke off the engagement.”
“Erika was devastated.”
“All the work she had put into becoming a successful voice actress, and it had done nothing but make the one person she cared most about feel that he wasn’t worthy of her anymore.”
“So what if he was a big pathetic dork?” She felt annoyed, even now, and it showed in her face. “What right did he have to decide if he was or wasn’t good enough for her?”
He stood silently, stunned at the similarity. ‘She deserves far better than a pathetic dork like me’, he’d told himself earlier, thinking of Kimiko and writing off the possibility.
“I can’t understand why anyone would think like that, can you?” she asked.
He looked down, and away.
Fred Gallagher, MegaTokyo. No direct link to the panel because you should read the whole too-damn-insightful work.
But don’t read it before you go to bed unless you have a particularly interesting roof.
